Leland saves billionaire Burton Wandowski after he gets trapped in a meat locker, and is given an opportunity to take part in a housing project he's running in Shelby, Michigan. Seeking an opportunity to expand his home repair business, he agrees and moves his family there. Jody finds himself at odds with the other students due to his cynical nature, Adelaide struggles to build new connections after leaving so many behind, Judy finds herself at odds with a neighbor after accidentally destroying her daughter's violin and Dakota attempts to prove herself to her neighbors
Cold Open[]
There is an advertisement for a suburban housing project in Michigan being ran by billionaire Burton Wandowski, guaranteeing homes for interested applicants and financial security, while seeking to expand residency in the small town of Shelby. The TV the ad is playing on is shut off as an unseen man accuses Burt of being a socialist.
Plot[]
Actor Danny DeVito introduces the characters for this series and the overall tone for it.
The Mahoneys are a middle class family based in College Point, facing some domestic issues. The patriarch and owner of a home repair business, Leland, finds himself at odds with his family; his wife, former local wrestler Dakota maintains faith in him but hides cracks in the facade, his eldest daughter Adelaide is practicing autonomy and has forgone their old close bond and he is pressuring his son Jody to follow in his footsteps, even though both do not get along. Leland's nature had rendered Jody cynical and it led to a decline in the bond between himself and his twin sister Judy, who has become somewhat abusive. The negativity extends to Leland's father Lionel and mother Tina, the latter having given up on the family entirely while the former struggles to maintain some presence in his son's life.
During a job, Leland goes to get a soda from a vending machine when he hears an altercation going on through an open door. Upon entering the room, he hears a man pounding on the opposite side of a freezer door, and upon opening it, discovers it's billionaire Burton Wandowski. Grateful for the noble deed, Burt offers Leland a home in a suburban housing project in Shelby, which Leland at first turns down, until Burt claims he would handle the expenses and would even agree to handle tax payments, even granting Leland office space for his business. The move is met with mixed opinions; Dakota is more than willing to abandon College Point due to plumbing concerns and over crowding, Jody and Judy are apathetic, and Adelaide is livid as she would be leaving her posse of friends behind. Leland is unmoving with the concerns had and thus the family gets to pack.
The Mahoneys arrive in Shelby. The kids, at the behest of Dakota, would be sent out to explore the neighborhood. Adelaide would try to enter a fast food restaurant and socialize, but having gone years with the same group of people, finds herself unable to be herself and leaves. With the adults, Dakota meets her realtor Muriel who provides a home warming gift, among the items including a slice of cheesecake. Dakota reveals she had cooked her own, and takes it to heart when Muriel considers it terrible, and Dakota's own jealousy over the quality of the other. Upon criticizing it, Dakota realizes Muriel's daughter cooked it and Muriel would express offense over her attitude. After trying to strongarm her, Dakota would also learn that Muriel, along with being her next door neighbor is also the block captain and would take note of Dakota's negative attitude.
The kids are enrolled in school the week after thanks to Burt's influence. Jody is caught daydreaming by teacher Ms. Chapley, but he manages to save face by correctly guessing the math problem she presented. Jody would encounter the school bully Clifford upon bumping into him, but manages to diffuse a potentially bad situation after a question arises over racism; Jody is well against it, as is Clifford, who opts to leave off with a warning and that he would only strike if Jody does so first. Because of his cynical behavior raising concern, Jody is called to the principal's office for a wellness check. An awkward exchange is had between Jody and the principal Cosmo Kadic due to Jody's lack of interest in sports and short replies. Because of his attitude, students become wary of being around him, and question if he is depressed. On a dare, a student is sent to talk to him, that student being Randy. Both would hit it off thanks to Randy's better reception to Jody's concerns and being willing to hear him out, though Randy seems to be ignorant of how deep the tension between Jody and Leland really is.
Judy has some better luck getting along with the students, finding a friend in one named Colleen, who unknown to her is Muriel's daughter and seeks to keep an eye on her. Things take a turn when Judy attempts to mock Jody in the hopes of gaining more social credibility, but Jody reveals their connection and Judy storms off. She bumps into another student and in rage smashes her violin. Cosmo doesn't catch her in the act and Judy claims Jody made her angry. Cosmo confronts Jody, but he refuses to comply, deep down not wanting to buckle under more familial pressure. Because of this, Cosmo gives Jody detention, though he is able to blackmail Cosmo out of it after he accidentally catches Cosmo and Hope engaging in role-play and finds Cosmo wears adult diapers.
Leland, assuming he could carry on his home repair business, would get to work on some of the houses in the neighborhood, where he would encounter Bob after running a nail through his wall and breaking a hanging portrait. Leland would wind up doing the same thing and pierce a tin tea kettle, where Bob would let the hot water pour onto him in retaliation. Leland would encounter similar results when he does the same to the other neighbors, further souring Dakota's standing. It would come to a head when one of the neighbors, Martha, goes to complain and would recognize Judy based on what her daughter told of her and destroying her violin. Dakota would harshly punish Judy, only to look good in front of her. This would be followed by her attempting to befriend the other neighbors, but her efforts prove to be annoying. Desperate to get rid of her they agree to take her to a private hangout. Meanwhile, Jody and Judy get into a fight over what happened in school, which turns physical, and as Adelaide attempts to get them to stop she has a breakdown due to so many changes and assuming that's the root of the conflicts. As Adelaide runs off, she would encounter her cousin Ruth, along with her own circle of friends. Astounded to learn she is living in their neighborhood, it helps Adelaide regain some confidence. Adelaide would also learn that one of Ruth's friends, Mercury, is the daughter of Muriel, who would tell her about the low reception of Dakota.
Dakota meets up with the other neighbors by an Italian restaurant, but as she prepares to go in the neighbors inform her it isn't where they intend to meet. They would lead Dakota down a series of secret passageways, intentionally telling her the wrong way to open certain doors until they arrive at a sushi restaurant. The neighbors would explain their issues with Leland, and their favor with Dakota is not helped when she defends him and his attitude at every gripe. She would tell Leland about their reception and they opt to trash the sushi restaurant as payback, only to be confounded by the wrong instructions which lead to painful and embarrassing moments. After missing a detail regarding which door to go through, both are accused of breaking and entering, getting pepper sprayed to the point of temporary blindness and arrested, not properly seeing Adelaide and company, who just continue to hang out.
Judy would encounter the girl from before, who would punch her in the eye and claims it would make them square after she broke her violin. Judy would accept it, and she, along with Colleen and the girl named Christine would go to the latter's house to play video games and hopefully inspire some good faith among their parents. Jody would write in a journal recounting his experiences, only to throw out the journal considering the idea of documenting thoughts to be inane.
It would go back to DeVito who wishes the viewers a good night, and snidely remarks on their quality of life.
Trivia[]
- Some prints list this under the name "pilot", while others use the title Ars Enim Ansam Dederunt.
- Ars Enim Ansam Dederunt is Latin for "For art gave them a loop."
- Rivals by Pearl Jam is heard in the radio early on. This serves as the show's theme song, though not heard in American airings due to ethical concerns over the song's subject matter.
Quotes[]
- Burt: Nothing lasts forever, and unfortunately, a roof over your head is one of them. Whether you're hit with a disaster insurance can't pay for, if you even have it, foreclosure is right around the corner, or it has become harder to manage on your own. I know I've been there, which is why I'm here to welcome you to Wandowski's block, Shelby Michigan, affordable housing with no strings attached. Get a home at a price reasonable to you, get access to a good school, a clean neighborhood and fear not for financial support. Pick a price that works for you, and once you settle Wandowski Incorporated will handle the rest. And if you're not convinced you can sell your home back to us and get refunded 25% above your initial asking price. You have nothing to lose. To book a spot, call 616-KL5-HOME. A happy life is made possible with a happy home, and I hope to get you yours on your best terms.
- Jingle: Wandowski, where housing is keen!
- Leland: *expletive* commie!
- Cosmo; Now Jody, let me make one thing perfectly clear, you're not in trouble, I'm just concerned.
- Jody: Yet I'm in your office.
- Cosmo: You know, a trip to the principal's office doesn't always have to be a bad thing. You can have a chance to talk about what you did and give me your side of it, I can tell you a story to put things into perspective and I could make or break your trip home, whatever the case you gotta play ball.
- Jody: To think, we left New York just to get better, and yet so little has changed. Least I can go on here. Life's not good, but it has to get better, right? It has to, I know it, whether I want to believe it or not.
Cast[]
Starring
- Will Estes
- Kirsten Storms
- Melissa Disney
- Rhea Perlman
- Charles Rocket
Also Starring